{"id":76443,"date":"2025-04-04T00:00:16","date_gmt":"2025-04-04T04:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/world.edu\/?p=76443"},"modified":"2025-04-04T00:00:16","modified_gmt":"2025-04-04T04:00:16","slug":"how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018How was school today?\u2019 How to help kids open up and say more than \u2018fine\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

One of the first things parents want to ask their children after school is \u201chow was your day?\u201d We simply want to know how they are going and what happened at school.<\/p>\n

But these conversations can feel like pulling teeth. Often you may only get a \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cfine\u201d (if you\u2019re lucky).<\/p>\n

Why are children reluctant to divulge information about their day and how can you encourage more details?<\/p>\n

Why don\u2019t kids like to talk?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

School can be overwhelming \u2013 with diverse social, academic and physical demands.<\/p>\n

It may seem simple, but a genuine answer to the \u201chow was school today\u201d question requires considerable effort and decision making to synthesise information from a busy day. A child may also be hesitant to answer if they think a parent\u2019s response might be anger, worry or confusion.<\/p>\n

Children are also likely to be hungry and tired straight after school. They are probably thinking about a snack before a chat. If you think of psychologist Abraham Maslow\u2019s famous theory about a \u201chierarchy of needs<\/a>\u201d, survival needs like hunger are ideally met before communication and connection.<\/p>\n

Children have also not yet fully developed a\u00a0theory of mind<\/a>\u00a0(an ability to image what\u2019s going on in another person\u2019s mind). So they might not understand why their parent is asking about school or what it is they want to know.<\/p>\n

How can you prepare for a chat?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

There are several things you can do to encourage a more informative conversation with your child.<\/p>\n

1. Consider the purpose:<\/strong>\u00a0ask yourself whether you want to gather information or simply connect with your child. To have a moment of connection you could simply say, \u201cI\u2019m so happy to see you\u201d at the school gate. To seek information, ask a very specific question (that requires little mental effort on your child\u2019s part). For example, \u201cdid you have your spelling test today\u201d, rather than \u201cwhat did you learn?\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Check your timing:<\/strong>\u00a0instead of asking your child right after school, consider waiting. Better conversations may instead happen after the child decompresses with a favourite game and a snack, over dinner or even on way to school the next morning.<\/p>\n

Try creating a routine to help your child prepare their answer, like the \u201crose dinner\u201d. At the dinner table, everyone shares their daily \u201cthorn\u201d (something difficult or upsetting) and \u201cpetal\u201d (something pleasant).<\/p>\n

3. Consider the space:<\/strong>\u00a0face-to-face conversations can create pressure and feel like an interrogation. This is why it\u2019s common for psychologists to place therapy chairs on a slight angle to promote a calm, relaxed atmosphere where it is easier to disclose difficult things.<\/p>\n

So try and do activities where you are side-by-side with your child. For example, walking or driving, doing craft, playing Lego, sport or cooking. Your child may spontaneously raise a topic \u2013 or you can model the conversation by talking about your day first.<\/p>\n

Time to chat<\/strong><\/h4>\n

To create a comfortable, safe environment for your child during the chat, here are four more things to consider.<\/p>\n

1. Really listen:<\/strong>\u00a0if your child initiates a conversation, bring your full attention and enthusiasm to it (which means putting your phone away). If you are busy thinking about what you\u2019re going to say next while your child is speaking, this is not\u00a0high-quality listening<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Show you are listening by paraphrasing what they are saying or identifying their feelings. This helps them to feel like they are being listened to and understood.<\/p>\n

If your child opens up about something important and they sense you are not supporting them or concentrating,\u00a0you\u2019re discouraging them from opening up in the future<\/a>.<\/p>\n

2. Be compassionate and curious:<\/strong>\u00a0the urge to protect our kids is strong, but instead of trying to \u201csolve\u201d or \u201cteach\u201d them when they are talking, don\u2019t be afraid of silence and curious questions. Curiosity\u00a0helps us show we care<\/a>, and allows the child to own their own experiences and reactions, rather than parents telling them how to feel.<\/p>\n

For example, \u201cNick said I couldn\u2019t play with him\u201d could be responded to with \u201cwhat was that like for you?\u201d rather than outrage (\u201cthat\u2019s horrible of Nick!\u201d).<\/p>\n

3. Celebrate strengths:<\/strong>\u00a0when your child is talking, listen out for\u00a0implicit strengths and values<\/a>\u00a0in what your child has shared. Having a parent highlight an area of strength or skill for a child helps build their sense of self. For example, \u201cit sounds like that upset you because you value fairness\u201d.<\/p>\n

4. Follow up<\/strong>: if your child speaks about upcoming events, check back in. For example, \u201clast week you mentioned you were nervous about basketball trials, how are you feeling now?\u201d This also shows you have listened.<\/p>\n

There is no magic formula: each conversation is as different as the individuals who are part of it. So experiment with these ideas and take notice of what works for you and your child.<\/p>\n

Author Bio:<\/strong> Madeleine Fraser is Senior Lecturer in Clinical Psychology at the Australian Catholic University<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of the first things parents want to ask their children after school is \u201chow was your day?\u201d We simply want to know how they are going and what happened at school. But these conversations can feel like pulling teeth. Often you may only get a \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cfine\u201d (if you\u2019re lucky). Why are children […]\n… learn more→<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15645],"tags":[435313],"coauthors":[11733],"class_list":["post-76443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-education","tag-conversations"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n\u2018How was school today?\u2019 How to help kids open up and say more than \u2018fine\u2019 - World leading higher education information and services<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u2018How was school today?\u2019 How to help kids open up and say more than \u2018fine\u2019 - World leading higher education information and services\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"One of the first things parents want to ask their children after school is \u201chow was your day?\u201d We simply want to know how they are going and what happened at school. But these conversations can feel like pulling teeth. Often you may only get a \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cfine\u201d (if you\u2019re lucky). Why are children […]\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"World leading higher education information and services\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-04-04T04:00:16+00:00\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/How-was-school-today.jpg\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"680\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"453\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kevin\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kevin\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Kevin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee\"},\"headline\":\"\u2018How was school today?\u2019 How to help kids open up and say more than \u2018fine\u2019\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-04-04T04:00:16+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":841,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/04\\\/How-was-school-today.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"conversations\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Education\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/\",\"name\":\"\u2018How was school today?\u2019 How to help kids open up and say more than \u2018fine\u2019 - World leading higher education information and services\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/04\\\/How-was-school-today.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-04-04T04:00:16+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/04\\\/How-was-school-today.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/04\\\/How-was-school-today.jpg\",\"width\":680,\"height\":453},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"\u2018How was school today?\u2019 How to help kids open up and say more than \u2018fine\u2019\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/\",\"name\":\"World leading higher education information and services\",\"description\":\"Global Higher Education Jobs, University jobs, Lecturer & tenure jobs.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee\",\"name\":\"Kevin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g8ba4c352a279c450aa9435d770c1ebf4\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Kevin\"},\"description\":\"Kevin is founder of the world.edu project. The past 28 years have been involved in publishing to the education sector in print and the internet. Kevin has a degree in Education and has a many years experience in developing companies and projects.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/author\\\/kevin\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"\u2018How was school today?\u2019 How to help kids open up and say more than \u2018fine\u2019 - World leading higher education information and services","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"\u2018How was school today?\u2019 How to help kids open up and say more than \u2018fine\u2019 - World leading higher education information and services","og_description":"One of the first things parents want to ask their children after school is \u201chow was your day?\u201d We simply want to know how they are going and what happened at school. But these conversations can feel like pulling teeth. Often you may only get a \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cfine\u201d (if you\u2019re lucky). Why are children […]","og_url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/","og_site_name":"World leading higher education information and services","article_published_time":"2025-04-04T04:00:16+00:00","og_image":[{"width":680,"height":453,"url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/How-was-school-today.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Kevin","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Kevin","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/"},"author":{"name":"Kevin","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/#\/schema\/person\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee"},"headline":"\u2018How was school today?\u2019 How to help kids open up and say more than \u2018fine\u2019","datePublished":"2025-04-04T04:00:16+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/"},"wordCount":841,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/How-was-school-today.jpg","keywords":["conversations"],"articleSection":["Education"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/","url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/","name":"\u2018How was school today?\u2019 How to help kids open up and say more than \u2018fine\u2019 - World leading higher education information and services","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/How-was-school-today.jpg","datePublished":"2025-04-04T04:00:16+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/#\/schema\/person\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/How-was-school-today.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/How-was-school-today.jpg","width":680,"height":453},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/how-was-school-today-how-to-help-kids-open-up-and-say-more-than-fine\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/world.edu\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"\u2018How was school today?\u2019 How to help kids open up and say more than \u2018fine\u2019"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/#website","url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/","name":"World leading higher education information and services","description":"Global Higher Education Jobs, University jobs, Lecturer & tenure jobs.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/world.edu\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/#\/schema\/person\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee","name":"Kevin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g8ba4c352a279c450aa9435d770c1ebf4","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Kevin"},"description":"Kevin is founder of the world.edu project. The past 28 years have been involved in publishing to the education sector in print and the internet. Kevin has a degree in Education and has a many years experience in developing companies and projects.","sameAs":["https:\/\/world.edu"],"url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/author\/kevin\/"}]}},"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76443","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/33"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=76443"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76443\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":76453,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76443\/revisions\/76453"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=76443"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=76443"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=76443"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=76443"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}