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Ensuring kids have manners is a\u00a0perennial preoccupation<\/a>\u00a0for parents and caregivers.<\/p>\n How, then, do you teach good manners to children?<\/p>\n Modelling good manners around the home and in your own interaction with others is obviously crucial.<\/p>\n But there\u2019s a clear\u00a0uniting theme<\/a>\u00a0when it comes to manners in Australia: in Australian English, good manners centre on honouring personal autonomy, egalitarianism and not appearing to tell people what to do.<\/p>\n Some of the most important manners in Australian English are behavioural edicts that focus on particular speech acts: greeting, requesting, thanking and apologising.<\/p>\n These speech acts have a\u00a0set of words<\/a>\u00a0associated with them:<\/p>\n Good manners make people feel comfortable in social situations by adding predictability and reassurance.<\/p>\n They can act as signposts in interactions. Anglo cultures place a lot of weight on\u00a0egalitarianism<\/a>, personal autonomy and ensuring we don\u2019t\u00a0tell people what to do<\/a>.<\/p>\n If you want to get someone to do something for you \u2013 pass you a pen, for example \u2013 you frame the request as a question to signal that you\u2019re not telling them what to do.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll also add one of the main characters in Anglo politeness: the magic word, \u201cplease<\/a>\u201d.<\/p>\n This framing recognises you don\u2019t expect or demand compliance. You\u2019re acknowledging the other person as an autonomous individual who can do what they want.<\/p>\n If the person does the thing you\u2019ve asked, the next step is to say \u201cthank you\u201d to recognise the other person\u2019s autonomy. You\u2019re acknowledging they didn\u2019t have to help just because you asked.<\/p>\n The words \u201cplease\u201d and \u201cthank you\u201d are such heavy hitters in Australian English good manners, they\u2019re two of the words that language learners and migrants\u00a0learn first<\/a>.<\/p>\n They can help soften the impact of your words. Think, for example, of the difference between \u201cno\u201d and \u201cno, thank you\u201d.<\/p>\n Of course, there are times when \u201cno\u201d is a full sentence. But what if someone offered you a cup of tea and you replied \u201cno\u201d without its concomitant \u201cthank you\u201d to soften your rejection and acknowledge this offer didn\u2019t have to be made? Don\u2019t be surprised if they think you sound a bit rude.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\nWhich manners matter most in Australia?<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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The heavy hitters<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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