{"id":70301,"date":"2023-10-18T00:07:53","date_gmt":"2023-10-18T04:07:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/world.edu\/?p=70301"},"modified":"2023-10-18T00:07:53","modified_gmt":"2023-10-18T04:07:53","slug":"parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/","title":{"rendered":"Parents make mistakes. So what does \u2018good enough parenting\u2019 look like?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

There is a huge amount of pressure on parents today \u2013 from feeding babies the \u201cbest organic purees\u201d to making sure older children get all the developmental opportunities they could possibly need, while of course documenting the\u00a0whole thing on Instagram<\/a>.<\/p>\n

There is also no shortage of advice about how to go about this. Just as there is no shortage of debate about the \u201cbest way<\/a>\u201d to parent your child.<\/p>\n

But what if parents just focused on being a \u201cgood enough parent\u201d instead? You do not have to be perfect in order to do a good job of raising a child. In fact, it may be better if you are not.<\/p>\n

What is \u2018good enough parenting\u2019?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

We know parenting matters in a child\u2019s life. Research tell us\u00a0parents influence<\/a>\u00a0their child\u2019s development, resilience and expectations of themselves and others. This in turn determines their behaviour and wellbeing.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood enough parenting\u201d theory was developed by UK\u00a0paediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott<\/a>\u00a0in the 1950s.<\/p>\n

He found children actually benefit from mothers who \u201cfail\u201d them in some ways.<\/p>\n

This does not mean parents can neglect or minimise their role in\u00a0making sure children are safe<\/a>\u00a0where they live, learn and play. Children also need to have their\u00a0emotional needs met<\/a>. They need to know they are loved and feel a sense of belonging.<\/p>\n

But\u00a0good enough parenting<\/a>\u00a0recognises parental failure is an inevitable part of life. Experiencing sadness, tears and anger are part of childhood and parents should allow children to gradually tolerate some frustration. The good enough parent realises it is not possible to be available and immediately responsive all of the time.<\/p>\n

What does it involve?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Winnicott noted when babies are very little, their needs are attended to almost immediately. If a baby cries, the parent will feed or change them.<\/p>\n

But as the child grows, they do not necessarily have to have their needs met immediately. Parents can allow them to develop a tolerance for some uncertainty \u2013 or things not going the way they wanted \u2013 while still caring and responding to their basic needs.<\/p>\n

This is important because life does not always go as we expect it to and children need to develop resilience.<\/p>\n

What does good enough parenting look like everyday?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

As a starting point, ask yourself \u201cwhat does my child need from me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Good enough parenting focuses on tuning in to and responding to your child\u2019s emotions and needs. These needs will change over time. For example, a good enough parent realises they need to respond quickly to their baby\u2019s hunger cry. Whereas a teenager is learning to navigate life. A good enough parent will at times have to allow their child to face consequences of their choices.<\/p>\n

At the same time, don\u2019t try to \u201cstop\u201d emotions. Good enough parenting is about being there for your child if they are sad or angry, but\u00a0not preventing them<\/a>\u00a0from being sad or angry in the first place. It can be helpful to think about suffering as not caused from emotional pain but from\u00a0avoidance of uncomfortable emotions<\/a>.<\/p>\n

And don\u2019t set unrealistic standards for your child. For example, if it\u2019s dinner time and they are tired and hungry, don\u2019t expect them to tidy their room.<\/p>\n

Set boundaries<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Being a good enough parent also means accepting your child for who they are. Children need unconditional love from a parental figure to develop a\u00a0healthy sense of self<\/a>. So, if you have a child who is more interested in soccer than maths (or vice versa) don\u2019t try to change them.<\/p>\n

At the same time,\u00a0do set boundaries<\/a>\u00a0\u2013 such as \u201cplease don\u2019t interrupt me when I\u2019m talking\u201d or \u201cI\u2019d like you to knock before you come into my room\u201d \u2013 and try to be consistent about enforcing them. Not only does this help define your relationships (as a parent and child, not two friends), it also teaches your child about healthy boundaries in any relationship.<\/p>\n

Things won\u2019t always go to plan<\/strong><\/h4>\n

As we know, things won\u2019t always go as we want or expect. So if you feel angry with your child, model how to emotionally regulate and try to talk to them as calmly as you can. If you make a mistake \u2013 such as raising your voice or losing your temper \u2013 apologise.<\/p>\n

But also find ways to give yourself a break. This means you will have the energy and capacity to parent tomorrow and into the future.<\/p>\n

And ask for help when you need it. This could be from your partner, family or professionals, such as a GP, family counsellor or psychologist. Remember, this is about being good enough, not super human.<\/p>\n

Author Bio:<\/strong> Cher McGillivray is an Assistant Professor in the Psychology Department at Bond University<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There is a huge amount of pressure on parents today \u2013 from feeding babies the \u201cbest organic purees\u201d to making sure older children get all the developmental opportunities they could possibly need, while of course documenting the\u00a0whole thing on Instagram. There is also no shortage of advice about how to go about this. Just as […]\n… learn more→<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[95],"tags":[2810],"coauthors":[11733],"class_list":["post-70301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-parenting"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nParents make mistakes. So what does \u2018good enough parenting\u2019 look like? - World leading higher education information and services<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Parents make mistakes. So what does \u2018good enough parenting\u2019 look like? - World leading higher education information and services\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There is a huge amount of pressure on parents today \u2013 from feeding babies the \u201cbest organic purees\u201d to making sure older children get all the developmental opportunities they could possibly need, while of course documenting the\u00a0whole thing on Instagram. There is also no shortage of advice about how to go about this. Just as […]\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"World leading higher education information and services\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-10-18T04:07:53+00:00\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/good-enough-parenting.jpeg\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kevin\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kevin\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Kevin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee\"},\"headline\":\"Parents make mistakes. So what does \u2018good enough parenting\u2019 look like?\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-10-18T04:07:53+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":808,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/10\\\/good-enough-parenting.jpeg\",\"keywords\":[\"Parenting\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Lifestyle\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/\",\"name\":\"Parents make mistakes. So what does \u2018good enough parenting\u2019 look like? - World leading higher education information and services\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/10\\\/good-enough-parenting.jpeg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-10-18T04:07:53+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/10\\\/good-enough-parenting.jpeg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/10\\\/good-enough-parenting.jpeg\",\"width\":680,\"height\":454},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Parents make mistakes. So what does \u2018good enough parenting\u2019 look like?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/\",\"name\":\"World leading higher education information and services\",\"description\":\"Global Higher Education Jobs, University jobs, Lecturer & tenure jobs.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee\",\"name\":\"Kevin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g8ba4c352a279c450aa9435d770c1ebf4\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Kevin\"},\"description\":\"Kevin is founder of the world.edu project. The past 28 years have been involved in publishing to the education sector in print and the internet. Kevin has a degree in Education and has a many years experience in developing companies and projects.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/world.edu\\\/author\\\/kevin\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Parents make mistakes. So what does \u2018good enough parenting\u2019 look like? - World leading higher education information and services","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Parents make mistakes. So what does \u2018good enough parenting\u2019 look like? - World leading higher education information and services","og_description":"There is a huge amount of pressure on parents today \u2013 from feeding babies the \u201cbest organic purees\u201d to making sure older children get all the developmental opportunities they could possibly need, while of course documenting the\u00a0whole thing on Instagram. There is also no shortage of advice about how to go about this. Just as […]","og_url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/","og_site_name":"World leading higher education information and services","article_published_time":"2023-10-18T04:07:53+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/good-enough-parenting.jpeg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"Kevin","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Kevin","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/"},"author":{"name":"Kevin","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/#\/schema\/person\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee"},"headline":"Parents make mistakes. So what does \u2018good enough parenting\u2019 look like?","datePublished":"2023-10-18T04:07:53+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/"},"wordCount":808,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/good-enough-parenting.jpeg","keywords":["Parenting"],"articleSection":["Lifestyle"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/","url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/","name":"Parents make mistakes. So what does \u2018good enough parenting\u2019 look like? - World leading higher education information and services","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/good-enough-parenting.jpeg","datePublished":"2023-10-18T04:07:53+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/#\/schema\/person\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/good-enough-parenting.jpeg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/good-enough-parenting.jpeg","width":680,"height":454},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/parents-make-mistakes-so-what-does-good-enough-parenting-look-like\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/world.edu\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Parents make mistakes. So what does \u2018good enough parenting\u2019 look like?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/#website","url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/","name":"World leading higher education information and services","description":"Global Higher Education Jobs, University jobs, Lecturer & tenure jobs.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/world.edu\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/world.edu\/#\/schema\/person\/42c1c1d5ff7ffbdf0bd50ed94c6ae6ee","name":"Kevin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g8ba4c352a279c450aa9435d770c1ebf4","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1e8d491a5f9b9bf3db67c9e46abbba7bb06b26b458bd5025c55e0a4b9b60ea8a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Kevin"},"description":"Kevin is founder of the world.edu project. The past 28 years have been involved in publishing to the education sector in print and the internet. Kevin has a degree in Education and has a many years experience in developing companies and projects.","sameAs":["https:\/\/world.edu"],"url":"https:\/\/world.edu\/author\/kevin\/"}]}},"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/33"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70301"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70301\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":70303,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70301\/revisions\/70303"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70301"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/world.edu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=70301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}