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\nThe progressive decline in birth rates in the world is accompanied by a fairly widespread feeling that it is increasingly difficult to raise and educate children.<\/p>\n
\nThe progressive decline in birth rates in the world is accompanied by a fairly widespread feeling that it is increasingly difficult to raise and educate children.<\/p>\n
A study carried out with the Spanish population indicates that\u00a08 out of 10 mothers and fathers<\/a>\u00a0feel to a greater or lesser extent guilty for not spending the time with their children that they consider they should, which leads to emotional discomfort and, in the most extreme cases, symptomatology of being burnt out or\u00a0burnout<\/em>\u00a0(physical and mental exhaustion, sleep disorders, nervousness…).<\/p>\n Another\u00a0recent study<\/a>\u00a0carried out in the United States at the end of 2022 indicates that two thirds of the parents questioned feel that the exercise of parental functions is more arduous than they expected.\u00a0The feeling of difficulty corresponds to the mothers, because, despite the advances towards co-parenting,\u00a0they are still the ones who assume more responsibilities <\/a>\u00a0in raising their children<\/a>\u00a0.<\/p>\n Although comparing maternity and paternity in different historical periods is a complex exercise, and admitting the great diversity in the exercise of parenting and parenting according to the country, the culture or the socioeconomic levels of the families, these data point to a trend in developed or post-industrial countries it may be due to various factors.<\/p>\n The covid-19 pandemic has increased\u00a0the anxiety and stress<\/a>\u00a0of children and adolescents and their parents;\u00a0but some problems already existed before: the aforementioned US study also points to\u00a0child mental health<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0bullying<\/a>\u00a0as the two main concerns of parents, followed by the fear that their children will suffer physical harm or have\u00a0problems with drugs or alcohol. alcohol<\/a>\u00a0.<\/p>\n We can interpret these data as a reflection of social awareness about issues that in previous decades received less attention, such as bullying and mental health, in a broad sense, also incorporating neurodevelopmental difficulties and disorders and The learning.<\/p>\n Greater awareness is necessary and key to detecting and addressing difficulties, but it is also accompanied by an increase in parental concern for preventing such problems, controlling the factors that can cause them, identifying them if they occur and addressing them. duly seeking and providing the necessary aid.<\/p>\n With regard to expectations regarding children, the study indicates as priorities, in this order, that children become economically independent, have jobs that satisfy them, complete a university degree, get married and have children.<\/p>\n As societies have achieved greater well-being, some of these expectations have changed.\u00a0Earlier generations also expected their children to be financially independent, marry, and have children, but the expectation of job satisfaction was less important.<\/p>\n In addition, in recent decades the expectations regarding the educational level of children have been increasing\u00a0in all social classes<\/a>\u00a0.<\/p>\n On the one hand, access to higher levels of education is a positive consequence of economic and social development.\u00a0On the other hand, post-industrial societies increasingly require better qualifications for the social and labor integration of their members.\u00a0In addition, the desire appears that the exercise of the profession is something satisfactory and that it contributes to personal development.<\/p>\n Educating and supporting children in achieving these goals is not perceived as something easy in today’s society, in which eventual economic crises, and now also health ones, generate a general perception of instability in the population.<\/p>\n After this brief analysis of the main concerns of parents and their expectations regarding their children, can we affirm that today it is more difficult than before to be a mother or a father?\u00a0We could say that what has really changed is the meaning of the term \u201cdifficult\u201d.<\/p>\n For the most disadvantaged sectors of the previous generations, the really difficult thing was to provide food for the descendants and keep them safe from common infections and diseases that today are not a problem.\u00a0Surely these challenges meant a great effort for mothers and fathers accompanied in many cases by high levels of emotional discomfort, which were not generally identified or attended to by society.<\/p>\n For the majority of the current population, in our context of reference, the difficulties are other, those linked to meeting the expectations of the well-being society: studies, personal satisfaction, physical and emotional well-being…<\/p>\n Parents are aware of the importance of education to achieve the goals of personal development and social integration.\u00a0Research on child development, school and the media have contributed to transmitting the importance of education in the first years of life and, especially, family education and collaboration between different educational agents, mainly teachers. and parents.<\/p>\n There is a clear awareness that the future of children can be highly favored by the quantity and quality of positive experiences or hindered by negative ones.<\/p>\n The 1990s and 2000s have seen the rise of a model of \u201c\u00a0intensive parenting<\/a>\u00a0\u201d: parents spend more time and money raising and educating their children than previous generations, especially in the\u00a0middle classes<\/a>\u00a0.<\/p>\n On the one hand, parents are aware of the importance of playing with their children, of interacting with them, of doing activities together (drawing, playing, looking at stories…), of talking to them, of communicating.\u00a0Earlier generations clearly spent less time playing and directly interacting with children.<\/p>\n On the other hand, providing children with good educational, health, leisure or learning support services requires a greater economic investment and a greater dedication to paid work.<\/p>\n What can we do as a society in the face of this trend?\u00a0First, readjust our ideas about what children really need from us as mothers and fathers.<\/p>\n While positive or negative experiences have an important impact, children are highly resilient and less fragile than we tend to think.\u00a0They don’t need perfect mothers and fathers;\u00a0to a certain extent, certain contradictions and frustrations of everyday life can be accommodated.\u00a0Frustrations\u00a0are part of life<\/a>\u00a0and the little ones must learn to face them.\u00a0Learning to tolerate frustration is key to\u00a0social-emotional development<\/a>\u00a0.<\/p>\n Nor do they need adults 100% of their time.\u00a0If we give them a chance, they learn to enjoy their games on their own, find their own distractions, live out their fantasies… We shouldn’t be scared that they experience moments of boredom.<\/p>\n On the other hand, it would be important to create public support and counseling services for parenting aimed at families, which are currently practically non-existent, in addition to maintaining and raising the quality of public services in general (educational, health, social…).<\/p>\n In short, supporting children and young people in their personal development and active integration in complex societies is a collective task in which mothers and fathers should feel accompanied in the exercise of their important role.<\/p>\nMore awareness, more fears<\/strong><\/h4>\n
More expectations, more helplessness<\/strong><\/h4>\n
Harder than what?<\/strong><\/h4>\n
More self-demand<\/strong><\/h4>\n
A necessary readjustment<\/strong><\/h4>\n
Accompaniment and social support<\/strong><\/h4>\n