{"id":63447,"date":"2022-06-16T00:48:47","date_gmt":"2022-06-16T04:48:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/world.edu\/?p=63447"},"modified":"2022-06-16T00:48:47","modified_gmt":"2022-06-16T04:48:47","slug":"ten-simple-rules-to-have-fun-playing-with-our-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/world.edu\/ten-simple-rules-to-have-fun-playing-with-our-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Ten simple rules to have fun playing with our children"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"
\nAll professionals related to childhood recommend spending\u00a0<\/span>quality<\/span><\/em>\u00a0time with our sons and daughters.\u00a0But what is quality time?\u00a0Is little but quality time enough for a good development of the family?<\/span><\/p>\n

To give an answer based on evidence, there are\u00a0<\/span>some correlational <\/span><\/a>\u00a0studies<\/span><\/a>\u00a0on educational guidelines and parent-child relationships.\u00a0In them, these guidelines are classified as theoretical constructs: directive, permissive, formative, neglectful, democratic, etc.<\/span><\/p>\n

But when child and adolescent behavior problems are approached from psychological treatments with an empirical and not theoretical basis, validated and with proven efficacy, some very specific guidelines do appear that improve these relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n

Interventions to improve relationships<\/strong><\/h4>\n

They are forms of intervention that do change the problems of family life: lack or excess of discipline, negativism, disruptive behavior, dissocial, etc.<\/span><\/p>\n

One of them is\u00a0<\/span>parent-child interaction therapy<\/span><\/a>\u00a0(PCIT), which has shown its success and\u00a0<\/span>efficacy<\/span><\/a>\u00a0for several decades, and which is precisely based, not on the time or quality of the relationship, but on in the\u00a0<\/span>way of interacting<\/span><\/a>\u00a0and the function of those relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n

It always means spending time, but the important thing is how and why we relate to our sons and daughters.\u00a0With this base, we can list some recommendations.<\/span><\/p>\n

Decalogue of good relationships<\/strong><\/h4>\n
    \n
  1. Schedule a time and space for the relationship.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>The game can be improvised, but if you want to have a record, it is important to schedule a time and a place where it takes place.\u00a0Just as we have\u00a0<\/span>sofa and TV<\/span><\/em>\u00a0time , we should have family game time.<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Create a closeness, verbal and affective.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>Talk to your children always positively, with affection, without imposing or commanding, suggesting, being affectionate in short.<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. The (non-educational) game is the best tool.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>Use games that are fun, not educational;\u00a0not seek to teach, but directly and simply have fun all together.<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. Choose the games well and adapt them to the age.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>In general, activity games, lots of movement, running, jumping, dancing, etc.\u00a0They are suitable for very young children.\u00a0Better if space is available or they are done outdoors.\u00a0But they can also be suitable for other older games, especially sports and group games.\u00a0Board games for older ages, but always fun (not smart-alecks, or quiz-questions).<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. The child has to take the lead.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>They are the ones who must take the lead and make the decisions about what is played.\u00a0They must choose the games or activities to do together, and once they have decided to follow the rules of that game until they finish it or dedicate a good time to it.\u00a0Consistency is not taught if you change games every two minutes.<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. The relationship must be fun (reinforcing).\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>Interactions while playing should be kept fun, not competitive.\u00a0Letting win from time to time feels good.\u00a0You have to feel like repeating the experience again.\u00a0The game has to produce laughter in all.\u00a0If not, it is not such a game.<\/span><\/li>\n
  7. Promote autonomy, decisions and responsibility in the interaction.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>Show and highlight the decisions that the children are making, and the rules of the game that everyone must comply with, and if the parents have to go back to square one, they will have to put up with it.<\/span><\/li>\n
  8. With teenagers, reach agreements, negotiate.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>The best social skills to encourage at this age are those of reaching agreements, negotiating, receiving but also giving.\u00a0Teenagers must continue to be the ones who decide what to play.\u00a0Video games can be an option, but only partially.\u00a0It is better to limit yourself to them, and if they are sports better than shooting.<\/span><\/li>\n
  9. Pay attention in general, but ignore behavior problems.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>When there are fights, anger or bad words for losing or any other matter, remain calm, wait thirty seconds (if at all, even count backwards), and then reason what is happening, what can be done, what arrangement or compromise to make, how to settle the dispute.\u00a0If it becomes too strong, the game is paralyzed and the person causing the anger can remain watching, without intervening while the others continue playing.<\/span><\/li>\n
  10. Skills to be learned by parents:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0praise, reflect, imitate, describe, enthuse.\u00a0Most adults tend to focus on what is wrong, on mistakes, with the purpose of educating, correcting, helping to improve.\u00a0However, they achieve the opposite effect.\u00a0What they have to learn is to focus on the positive, praising it, reflecting what the child has said or done, imitating their movements, their way of speaking, being just another child in the game, describing what they are doing and, above all, everything, excite\u00a0If a father or mother does not enjoy the game, he or she cannot expect the child to do so.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    These 10 rules are summarized in two:<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Remember how much you loved to play and how happy you were as a child.<\/span><\/li>\n
    2. Treat your children as you would like them to treat you.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Author Bio:<\/strong> Luis Valero Aguayo is Professor of the Dept. Personality, Evaluation and Psychological Treatment at the University of Malaga<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      All professionals related to childhood recommend spending\u00a0quality\u00a0time with our sons and daughters.\u00a0But what is quality time?\u00a0Is little but quality time enough for a good development of the family? To give an answer based on evidence, there are\u00a0some correlational \u00a0studies\u00a0on educational guidelines and parent-child relationships.\u00a0In them, these guidelines are classified as theoretical constructs: directive, permissive, formative, […]\n… learn more→<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[95],"tags":[429087],"coauthors":[11733],"class_list":["post-63447","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-parent-child-interaction-therapy"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nTen simple rules to have fun playing with our children - World leading higher education information and services<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/world.edu\/ten-simple-rules-to-have-fun-playing-with-our-children\/\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ten simple rules to have fun playing with our children - World leading higher education information and services\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"All professionals related to childhood recommend spending\u00a0quality\u00a0time with our sons and daughters.\u00a0But what is quality time?\u00a0Is little but quality time enough for a good development of the family? 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