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Let me begin by saying I\u2019m not a poet. And when I commenced my PhD a year ago I certainly didn\u2019t set out to document my PhD journey using an ancient Japanese form of poetry known as haiku. And yet, here I am, 15 months in, confirmed and about to analyse the data from my experiments and I have a collection of 20 haikus that do in fact describe the journey thus far. Well, as much as one can describe such a journey within the strictures of a 5\/7\/5 syllable poem.<\/p>\n
The haiku obsession began early last year. I found myself in a research lab full of very fancy computer equipment and surrounded by very serious technology nerds (that\u2019s a compliment by the way). I\u2019m decades older than most of them, my background is business and although my first computer was an Apple Mac (you know the very first one, the actual original Mac), I\u2019m certainly not up with all their modern kit. So, what to do, how to make my mark? For some reason, my haiku habit was the answer.<\/p>\n
Our lab has wall-talkers, those walls that you are allowed to write on, in fact encouraged to write on. And so, first thing one morning, when no-one was there I wrote my first haiku on the wall. I felt rebellious, naughty and very young. It was an intoxicating feeling and I wanted more. I wrote a few more. I didn\u2019t sign them, didn\u2019t say they were mine and whilst there was speculation about the haiku \u2018phantom\u2019; interestingly no-one thought it was me.<\/p>\n
Here is a haiku one of my colleagues wrote:<\/p>\n
Haikus everywhere<\/em> Eventually I came clean and I think that maybe they started to see me in a different light.<\/p>\n Since then I have continued with my haikus \u2013 about one a month, sometimes more frequently if I am feeling particularly elated, or despairing. Why haiku? Well I think that is obvious \u2013 when one is in the process of writing 80,000 words there is hardly time for anything more than 17 extra syllables. It\u2019s a way of expressing what is going on, quickly, succinctly. A way of capturing the ups and downs of this process\/journey\/self-inflicted torture\/self-expressed delight.<\/p>\n Something I now know about the PhD is that we all have something that makes it possible for us to actually succeed. For me I am highly organised, pretty clever, determined and I have lots of time and space in my life to devote to my research. And we all have something that makes it possible for us to give up in utter frustration. For me that is statistics, the bureaucracy fondly known as a university and the fact that my research is in an area so distant from all my previous study. But the thing we have in common as Higher Degree by Research students is that we all have a \u2018something\u2019 that will ensure success and a \u2018something\u2019 that if we don\u2019t overcome it will ensure failure.<\/p>\n One last thing before you read my haikus. I remember being mystified by syllables in primary school. I never quite got it. I kept getting it confused with sounding out words. I realised just how poor I was at it when, many years later, I was teaching grade one myself, and I was showing the children how to count the syllables by clapping out their names. We\u2019d clapped around the whole circle of children when my teacher aide gently whispered in my ear \u201cdo you know you\u2019re teaching them the wrong thing?\u201d<\/p>\n For those of you like me who have bit of syllable-dyslexia, there are four syllables in my name: (Pau+la) and (Love+day). If you were sounding my name you would say (P+au+la) and (L-o-ve-d-ay). Having said that, I\u2019m still never quite sure I have the syllables right and so, after I have completed a haiku I send it in a text to my 20 year-old daughter for her to check<\/p>\n 1.<\/p>\n PhDs are great<\/em> 2<\/p>\n Aargh! Where to begin?<\/em> 3<\/p>\n New skills to apply<\/em> 4<\/p>\n Super-duper fun<\/em> 5<\/p>\n Mid sem? Not for me<\/em> 6<\/p>\n Another haiku?<\/em> 7<\/p>\n Twenty thousand words.<\/em> 8<\/p>\n Presentation \u2013 done.<\/em> It\u2019s been great to mark these milestones with a haiku. It\u2019s so easy to just move on to the next thing. Actually stopping to acknowledge the journey makes it richer.<\/p>\n 9.<\/p>\n Reviewer\u2019s comments<\/em> 10<\/p>\n Such differing views \u2013<\/em> 11<\/p>\n Many distractions<\/em> One time I tried to share my distraction with the rest of the lab. I cleaned all the old haikus off the board and put a new one up:<\/p>\n 12<\/p>\n Avoid your research<\/em> No responses. It seems like I was the only one not working. So, back to it:<\/p>\n 13<\/p>\n Build subject numbers<\/em> 14<\/p>\n Delete this, add that<\/em> 15<\/p>\n
\nWho is the phantom writer?<\/em>
\nPlease reveal yourself<\/em><\/p>\n
\nNote to self \u2013 get PhD<\/em>
\nEighty thousand words\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n
\nThoughts are many \u2013 words are few<\/em>
\nChapter one, word one\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n
\nArgument and rhetoric<\/em>
\nWhy, but why, but why?<\/em><\/p>\n
\nNaught but PhD pleasure<\/em>
\nAh! sweet denial<\/em><\/p>\n
\nThoughts are 24\/7<\/em>
\nCan\u2019t switch off \u2013 dare not!<\/em><\/p>\n
\nSeventeen syllables more?<\/em>
\nNo way, No how, No!<\/em><\/p>\n
\nConfirmation document.<\/em>
\nSubmitted. At last!<\/em><\/p>\n
\nI\u2019m through. Confirmed. It\u2019s over.<\/em>
\nRelief comes in waves.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nSeventeen responses down,<\/em>
\nThirty-three to go!<\/em><\/p>\n
\nSupervisors\u2019, reviewers\u2019<\/em>
\nBut what do I know?<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAn infinite TO DO list<\/em>
\nFocus, focus now.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nProcrastinate with haiku<\/em>
\nWalls are clean. Create!<\/em><\/p>\n
\nGet message out \u2013 media<\/em>
\nToo famous to think ????<\/em><\/p>\n
\nHoop jumper extraordinaire<\/em>
\nResistance takes time<\/em><\/p>\n